MARRIAGE (concluding part)

I pray that the light of God will flood our hearts and grant us understanding in Jesus' name.  Amen 🙏.

Let us continue.

The regulation, rule, custom and belief of the kingdom about this union is that both parties in it are seen as one, that is, they are now one flesh. Now,  let's go back to Genesis 2:18(NLT) "The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Remember,  in the first part of this exposition I highlighted how several other versions put it (i.e. "helper suitable for him"). The aim is to link it with the description of Christ in Mark 10:9(NLT) which says "Therefore, what God has joined together,  let no one separate.

So,  how do I mean?

What's the point?

The point is that the woman brought to the man was a match for him and such union should not be sundered because it's founded by God. 

Mark 10:9 specifically says "What God has joined….” Christ answered the Pharisees with a depth of wisdom through the Holy Spirit because such question was to ensnare Him. What He was saying literally is  that "ONLY WHAT GOD HAS JOINED TOGETHER SHOULD NOT BE SUNDERED"

Many unions have been joined by humans, by wealth, by infatuation etc., but such unions do not match the PRINCIPLE OF SUITABILITY as stated in Genesis 2:18.

Therefore, the union between a man and a woman isn't defined as a marriage if the principle of suitability from God is not fulfilled and as a result, the union will dearth a stature devoid of mistrust.

Yes, I said that!!!

If this is true, then how does one get to fulfill the principle? It is simple. 

Adam first knew God and it was God who found EVE for him. 

That is, your relationship with Him will reveal your partner to you and His Spirit in you will confirm that you have found him or her.

I quite understand that "not all unions are joined by God” but then the big question —why do we have problems in many marriages joined by God? This is the million dollar question in the mind of most believers and unbelievers alike.

The reasons for such problems and suggested solutions are summarised below.

• Relegating God After the Union: 

Whatever is established by God can only be maintained by God. I have discovered that many marriages gotten through God have relegated God and have decided to run their affairs themselves. Don't forget that Adam's union with Eve was hitch free when he kept his union with God. 

God in His wisdom managed their union until they acted unilaterally. Read the book of Genesis.

• Recognition of Roles and Positions: 

Practically, the union according to the scriptures makes the parties therein one-flesh but by functions, they have divisional roles and positions.  It means that the position of a man should be managed by the man while the woman's should also be managed by her. 

Problems occur when there's an unapproved interception of roles by either of the parties.  What I'm really saying is that madness begins when a man begins to walk in the shoes of a woman and vice versa.  

• Submissiveness: 

This is often misunderstood by most parochial writers whose write-ups are channeled towards a targeted audience (i.e. women).

Yes, the scripture says in Ephesians 5:22 (NLT) "For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord" but don't forget that our point of discussion is marriage in the definition of God; if both parties are to live by the powers of the Spirit, the same submissiveness is expected from the husband because he is doing so to his body.  Ephesians 5:21 (NLT) says "And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

Men are very EGOISTIC, HEADY and IMPERIOUS and they display such in their marital affair. 

Most men are like that but the Spirit of God exposes you to yourself when you learn submission. Your wives will tell the tale when you also submit and you will get the best from them. Honestly, it will be "heaven on earth" for you. 

• Relationship with Extended Family:

I'm going to be very brief in explaining this. Our culture really has a certain degree of influence on this but I'll advise that both parties in the marriage should discuss and agree on how such relationship should be handled.

• Disciplinary Measures for Kids:

This has broken many homes because the measure of love attached to children vary on emotional stature of the parties in the marriage. Most times, women tend to be more tender and they can't really bear it when their kids are punished for their shortcomings.

My advice is that both parties should agree on the measure of punishment meted out to children to avoid an unknown anger from spouses... keeping in mind that Proverb 22:6 (NLT)  says "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it."

• Advice:

This involves both parties but I'll concentrate more on the men because it concerns them mostly. 

Women are divinely gifted with the spirit of wise counsel (whether for their benefits or for their husbands). Most men don't heed their advice and they end up putting their marriage in chaos. 

How do I mean?

Many husbands act as if they "know all" and they reject the counsels of their wives (who was gifted to them to help them as written in Genesis 2:18) and yet, they want them to remain loving after getting themselves in messes. 

Mr. man, the earlier you realise how much God has deposited in your wife, the better you know about how far you could have gone. Just let go of your "I AM THE MAN OF THE HOUSE MENTALITY" and listen to her. 

• Communication:

I won't dwell more on this.

One of the major causes of chaos in most Godly marriages is lack of effective communication. Do you know that an average woman (no matter how quiet or reserved) talks more about how they feel, what they want, what they think about, what bothers them etc to their husbands  but most men only talk about what they feel is important to be discussed.  

Honestly, women despise such attitude because it makes them feel they're alone in the journey of two people. Please change! 

Discuss your challenges —how you want to spend your money, how you want to invest, how you want to do different things and let her also make suggestions. 

• Sex:

Proverbs 5:15-17 (NLT) says "drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers.

1 Corinthians 7:3 (NLT) says "The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs"

This is a serious matter that should not be taken lightly because it has broken a lot of homes and it's still breaking homes. God has created us to have such desire to be fulfilled but He has not made us to be dogs for general sexual services. 

I've heard some people say that "they can't have sex with their wives or husbands because they are fasting or praying" even after they've been away for a long time. 

I believe what they'll quote is 1Corinthians 7:5a (NLT) "Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer". 

👆 is quoted to suit selfish purposes because the verse is self-explanatory. The verse says ...UNLESS YOU BOTH AGREE TO REFRAIN.... Also, verse 6 of the chapter says "I say this as a concession, not as a command". 

Stop hiding behind the scripture that is explicit, have fun and enjoy it with your spouse.

• Financial Resources:

Most teachers don't talk about it and if they do, they don't see it as a major contributor to a lasting marriage. 

I am not putting it as "money" to avoid certain things but I must let you know the truth. Many Godly marriages break because they lack financial resources to meet certain necessities.

Some marriages do not break for this reason but they are "fields of war and chaos".

Listen, A MAN IS NOT ALWAYS HAPPY WHEN HE CANT MEET THE NEEDS OF HIS FAMILY. He will be irrational, angry and will not think straight.

Also,  A WOMAN IS EMOTIONALLY IMBALANCE WHEN HER NEEDS ARE NOT MET or WHEN SHE SEES HER CHILDREN WANTING and SHE CAN'T HELP OUT.

This will lead to some funny responses that may cause an ignition of chaos. 

This is also as important as all other reasons stated above. 

May the Lord help us in our marital journey in Jesus' name. Amen  🙏

Thanks for following.

I LOVE JESUS!!!